Update from Tina Before her Flight to Texas

Tina should be taking off in about two hours or so. She posted a comment on Facebook:

"Ugh, I am sick today and I have to get on a plane. Called the doctor and waiting to hear back.
Still dealing with yesterday. Had a brain MRI, not sure of results yet. Legs are weak and they may never be the same. They want to put me on another chemo that will cause me to lose my hair again. It wasn't so hard the first time, but I am devastated this time. I just want to get married with my own hair. I know it is superficial, but it really hurts. I am seeing a neurosurgeon on 10/15. I don't know what to expect anymore or what to hope for. I hadn't been aware until yesterday that I have tumor in my spinal cord, I thought it was just my bones. It's gonna be a tough day."

I break down every time I hear things like this. I hope the trip down here will raise her spirits some. We are going to a comedy show Saturday night and she gets to see a high school friend while in town. Please continue to pray for her, not just her physcial healing but for her spirit as well.

The Smile Never Fades This Weekend.

This is a post from Tina's facebook page.


Picking up the books this weekend. If u still want to order 1, please let me know. There'll be a picture of Ashley & I with some of our cancer story. It's $35 if u order from me & u can write a check to me. If u order it online at ..."The Smile Never Fades" it's $35 plus a $5 shipping charge. A portion of the proceeds goes to Austin Breast Cancer Resource Center. We're up to about 20 books so far. Thanks 4 ur help.

If you are in New Jersey and would like a copy, please let me know and I'll send a copy home with Tina. You can just write her a check. You can contact me if you are in the Austin area and I'll pick one up for you to save $5 in shipping.

Woohoo, only four days until they visit!

Back in Texas and waiting for next weekend

I was expecting delays on 9/11, but 5 and half hours? Really? It had nothing to do with terrorists, just tornados...or tomatoes as the cutie-patootie said next to me. Awww. Since I always fall asleep as soon as I board and buckle up, all I brought with me to do was Sudoku. That's only entertaining for about 15 minutes, 30 tops. I went to the in-airport bookstore and found "The Last Lecture". I'd been wanting to read it since I first heard about him on Good Morning America. If you're not aware, "The Last Lecture" is about a professor diagnosed with pancreatic cancer who had three to six month left with his wife and three young children. Boy, talk about a bad time to read it. I cried several times in front of at least 40 people waiting at the gate.

By the time I landed, I had missed out on half of a day of seeing Tina and Ashley. My mom and I did have fun getting lost on the way back from Philly at 11pm though. However, the GPS lady kept hogging the conversation. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. "So mom, how's--Turn right in one point three miles" Shut up lady, I'm talking here! hehe

The next morning, Ashley and I made a fort in her play room. It's amazing how you can still feel like a little kid at times but your body definitely isn't one anymore. I could hardly sit and keep my butt and my feet in the fort at the same time, so how could I be expected to play in it? I hate that she lives so far away from me, but it's awesome to be able to play with her when I get the chance.

After I got the feeling back in my lower extremetries from being bunched up and hiding from bad guys (my mom), the family went out to dinner. I hope it was nice for Tina to get out of the house and it not be to the hospital, a support group or errands.





Sunday was an early morning. We first went to the Bridal store and Aunt Lisa and I tried on bridesmaid dresses. Then it was off to Ashley's family birthday party at the park. It was nice to see family that I hadn't seen in a long time and I know it was good for them to see Tina.

Monday morning we went into Philly. Tina had a follow up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon then physical therapy. Since that's in two different places, we got to take a limo from the doctor's office to CTCA (Cancer Treatment Centers of America). If you're paying millions of dollars in hospital bills, might as well take advantage and ride in style. I'm so not cut out for that lifestyle though. I almost had to use the patient vomit bags. The longer the car, the worse my carsickness is apparently, blech.

Then it was back to the airport. At least my flight was only delayed by 30 minutes this time. I finished "The Last Lecture" just as we landed. I called mom as soon as I got off the plane and she told me that Patrick Swayze had passed from pancreatic cancer. I bawled, what timing. Sheesh. He fought for a long time. He will be missed. RIP.

The weekend was very short but at least mom, Ashley and Tina are in Texas in just one week.

Goin' to Jersey

I'm excited about going to New Jersey tomorrow. I sure hope the security check on 9/11 isn't going to take forever. Hopefully the date will have deterred some passengers from flying tomorrow and this is only Austin, it's not like Newark, Ohare or LAX.

The last time I saw Tina, she was not in the best of shape, although her outlook has always been positive, but I hear from her and my mom that she's looking stronger now. It's great talking to Tina now that her voice is mostly back.

Ashley's birthday is later this month, so I'm taking the trip for her party on Sunday. Two weeks after that, Tina, Ashley and my mom are flying out to Austin. The author of the book "The Smile Never Fades" is having a book signing and since Tina's story is in it, she's coming down.

In the last update from Tina, she mentioned her hands were peeling and she was having pains in her stomach. Thankfully the peeling has stopped and the stomach pain has lessened. It seems there's a two-steps-forward-one-step-back aspect to recovery, but as long as it stays in the forward motion, we're doin' okay. Dang it, now I have that awful Paula Abdul song in my head. I hope mentioning that got it in your head too. I don't want to be the only one suffering here. = )

I'll be sure to write updates on the trip. "All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go..." I'm quite the little song bird today. Do yourself a favor. While in your car today, sing loud, play steering wheel drums and let out your inner child/inner rockstar. You'd be amazed what that does for you. It's all about attitude.

Update by Tina

This was written by Tina last week. It got lost in my email...stupid spam.

Last lumbar MRI was 9/22/08 and is how we found the cancer. There are new lesions since last September but none appear to be new new, there have been things that have shown up on the PET scans. There is a healed or healing compression fracture in my lumbar vertebrae which has caused some shortening of the lumbar spine. In addition to the lesions in the thoracic spine, I also have some bulging discs which have nothing to do with the cancer.

It does not appear that anything is impinging on any nerves or the spinal cord, but I am experiencing some occasional burning sensations in my lower left back next to the spine and some weakness in the right leg.

I am going back to the orthopedic oncologist on Sept 14th to check the hip and shoulder. I will have him review my new MRIs. If the symptoms are worse and he deals with the back, I will get his opinion. If he doesn't deal with the back, they will send me to a neurologist.

I am walking better and speaking better, but I am very tired in the afternoons. My hands have started peeling which is a side effect of the Xeloda and I am having almost daily stomach pains in the afternoon but we don't know what that is from.

Overall, I feel good, but I never know what each day will bring. I guess we're good as long as it brings another day. Ashley starts school next week and I can't wait to WALK her to the bus stop for the first time.

I am having some issues with the online school thing. Perhaps too much too soon. Too late to drop out and a lot to catch up on.

--Tina

Status Update (Boy that sounds impersonal)

I feel as though I have no creative synapses today so I'll give it to you straight. Today, Tina had an MRI done to look closer at her back. She's been having more pain there than usual so the doctors want to check , should get results on Wednesday.

Although there are many days that are either trips to the hospital or simply lying around the house, recently Tina's told me about more frequent outings. Ones that don't include needles, chemo drips or radiation.

Tina, Ashley, Paul, and Paul's daughter, Payton, ventured out to the boardwalk. They all went on some rides. She says it makes her feel normal again. That makes me want to cry.

She's gone to see Paul's band and has been visiting the pool. My my took the most adorable videos of Ashley at the pool. She has become quite the little fish, even jumping off the high dive; that's Ashley, not Tina. :)

Anyone have a DeLorean I can borrow?

In the first blog I mentioned how this blog is also a vehicle for venting. So get out your notebooks and get ready to say, "and how does that make you feel?", because I'm getting comfy on the couch and all set to let it out.

I know you've seen Back to the Future. There's one part of the movie in Part II that really has me thinking lately. Marty had caused a break in the timeline and spawned a parallel universe. In this alternate universe, his father had died, the whole town was trashed, Biff and his mother were married, and nothing was as it should be. He had to go back in time (yet again) to fix this and right all of the wrongs. I feel like I'm stuck in an alternate universe.

Somewhere there is another me living a much happier, "right" life where my sister isn't sick and everyone is employed. I know there's no such thing as a "right" life, but I just feel like things were going swimmingly, then out of no where, I fell into a downward spiral and I can't climb out.

So, does anyone have a DeLorean I can borrow? I can actually buy a Flux Capacitor online. It's to scale, mountable and has adjustable flashing lights. It even says in the description that if you get pulled over for speeding to point to the Flux Capacitor and tell the officer, "I was just trying to get up to 88mph."

https://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/9fc6/

At least this makes me giggle. The one thing that Tina and I love doing together is watching 80s movies. I feel bad for anyone else in the room with us because we quote all the lines to the point of absolute frustration. Tina better clear her schedule on September 12, I see an 80s movie marathon in our future. Our own John Hughes film festival perhaps.